Big things and small times

Some days, things go well others, not so much. What do you do when you need things to get better but wont?
I have thought about that for years, and i still dont know. I still wonder why im were i am... why i LOVE Shona so, and why do have to struggle to damn hard for what others dont have to. Its pains me SO much how much of a berdun i am to every one. But at the same, I hold them up as well. Some days, i am the only one that can stop every thing from falling to hell. Others i am the one to summon hell...
I say thins to get ot off my back. Not that any one reads this blog yet. So i fell safe in saying this.

And, I need to get programing down...

RaInE